How to deal with difficult situations at work
3 Lessons about Accountability
Table of Contents
In my career as a recruiter I have met many people who quit their jobs because they didn’t like the leadership around them. So whenever I hear someone complaining about their manager or team leader I would always ask if they tried to do something to change their situation first before they decided to leave. Very ironic for a recruiter whose job depends on people leaving their jobs, but my confidence in the job seeker usually depended on how they could answer this question.
For many of us, it is easy to place blame on those around us and to zone in on what we think we deserve and are entitled to, especially at our jobs. It is also easy to simply walk away from your current situation and have a fresh start elsewhere.
Somebody once told me: “You will always have something to complain about at any job,” and with time I realized how true this was.
But what can you do to get through difficult times at work?
Let me share three lessons about accountability.
1. Don’t wait until you’re told what to do
As a junior consultant, I remember going into my 1on1s with my manager then wanting praise for the good job that I had done that week and expecting them to give me direction on what to focus on next. Now that I look back on those days, it must have taken them the ultimate patience that I, for sure, do not possess myself even now.
What I learned over the years is that 1on1s become so much more useful when you create your own plan and are able to be honest about what you were able to be accountable for and what was difficult for you. You need to try to solve the problem yourself first before you ask for advice.
When I figured out how to draw my own plan for the week, the conversations with my managers became more of a discussion - sometimes in tears during difficult times - but I remember walking out of my 1on1s later on knowing what I had to do that week so I could get closer to my goals.
2. If you want something to change, change it yourself
I had a team leader a few years ago who had his own strengths and commendable qualities, but whose leadership style did not align with me. We were friends and had a lot of mutual respect for each other.
I realized much later on that I was building a type of work relationship with this team leader where they felt that I was good on my own. One of my coworkers then warned me, “you won’t have that kind of relationship anymore once you start missing your targets”.
That coworker was right. There was a time when I wasn’t hitting my targets for consecutive quarters and during that time my conversations with my team leader would change. They would start asking - albeit straightforward - questions that were uncomfortable between the two of us because they knew what was difficult at that time but it seems like they just had to record my answers somewhere.
“Where are all these questions coming from? I thought you had confidence in me?” and I started to doubt my own capabilities. I was at my lowest mentally and emotionally, and I blamed it on their leadership.
Months later, I realized that I was constantly complaining about my situation without doing anything about it.
If I wasn’t getting the type of leadership that I felt I needed, why couldn’t I just be my own leader and lead myself to success?
Have I explored every possible solution to get out of my current situation?
What do I want to change, and can I make this change happen?
“You will always have something to complain about at any job.” As mentioned in the beginning, this was some of the best advice I got at that time. I realized that if I didn’t try to find a solution to my situation, I would regret “giving up” for the rest of my career. There wouldn’t have been any lesson that I could take with me to my next journey. I was adamant from then on to make sure that I could say to myself in the future that I tried to find solutions and that I created my own accomplishments my way.
3. No one else is responsible for your own motivation and inspiration
If you’ve read 50 Cent’s “Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter” you will understand that no one owes you anything.
I once worked with a colleague who said that they didn’t feel inspired by the people around them. I still think about this from time to time. I wish I could go back to our conversation and ask more.
What did they mean by this? What kind of inspiration did they need? Was this what really demotivated them?
Now that I am interested in workplace engagement, and creating a culture of learning, I have so many more questions.
As a university student, I used to put my professors on a pedestal and had high expectations that they were responsible for teaching, guiding and inspiring me. Then when I started working, I looked at my managers that way - as my motivation and inspiration. Now I look back at myself and shake my head - what a privileged brat.
You can indeed feel empowered and inspired by other people’s actions, accomplishments, and so on. Meeting people that motivate you to do better and inspire you are one of the best things in life. Those encounters help you grow as an individual and they create new avenues of learning.
However, no one owes you this. These aren’t encounters that you demand in life. They happen by chance and that’s the beauty of waking up in the morning and looking forward to another day.
I think about motivation in the workplace as something similar as eating healthy or staying active. Why are you doing it? What is your goal? If there’s no purpose, then why are you doing it?
The next time you’re in a difficult situation, especially at work, imagine you were a 3rd party observer and you were looking at your life from a distance. Before you start letting your emotions take over your decisions, lay out every possible objective solution that you can think of that is available in front of you.
Once you’ve explored everything and there really is no wait out but out then that’s the time when you can confidently say that you have done everything you possibly could to solve your problems.
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